6:00 p.m. Woke up 6:30 after having gone to bed at 2:00 in the morning. I got in at 11:30 from a seabee sister cowboy watching party..watch them get beat :) I stayed up after I got in, I guess hoping I might see my angel on line (wishful thinking).

I did most of my errands today, ordered checks, payed the water bill and set it up on automatic payment..(Woohoo), mail the one and only truck payment (yeah auto billing) mailed the $6.27 cents to the mortgage co that we owe (funny) called direct energy asked about average billing ( I think that's a scam if I ever heard one). The only chore left is to go to t-mobil and turn my seabee's phone off.
I will do that tomorrow.
G has volleyball practice tonight.
The days are going to go by, only because there is a lot of things that have to get done, the FRG children's Christmas party planning will begin Oct 10th, it will be here before I know it.

BIG SIGH The adjustment to not talking to him is taking time, I thought of something to ask him today and had to stop myself when I reached for the phone, I chuckled to myself, I miss him!

My house is in desperate need of straighting up. I have two capable daughters that refuse to help me, I yell at them because they are too old to spank, but they just ignore me and go to their room and do absolutely nothing, two hours later they come out and their rooms are exactly the same, I am helpless when it comes to that.
I guess I am to blame for spoiling them, I just wish they could show some gratitude. it makes me sad that they don't care.

6:15 I am so MAD, and somewhat sad. The phone rang and when I said hello a low female voice said hello veronica this is James' mom, at first I didn't hear her, so I said excuse me, she said this is James' mom. I said oh hi how are you, she then said where is he, I was a little taken back, no how are you, how are the girls, so I said hes gone, my heart hurt, and I felt the tears. I always dreamed of having a mother in law that I could be close to and share our lives with, her voice sounded very cold and callus to me, and then I felt the anger. She then said "well ,will you give me his address", I was begining to feel more angry... how about how is my grandaughter, that I have only met once and she was 6 when they met.
In the 14 years we have been married she has never had or tried to have a relationship with me, I dont know why, I have never done aything to her, never mean, always respectful and treated her like she was my mother. When she did call him (very seldom) she would never ask about me or G (My angel would say she did, but I know better, I understand its human nature to defend his mom) I dont know why she doesnt like me, and I dont know why I am hurt by this, or angry, I feel like I want to see a counsler because of it. Not sure where these hidden feelings are coming from.

I cant stop smiling

6:00 I recieved a great phone call today from my Seabee, I am going to be honored with the opportunity to pinn his Chief's anchors on him. I am so happy, excited, and nervous all rolled into one! My heart is sooo swollen words cant describe the feeling.
Hoo-rah Cm Chief Select Warwick... I LOVE YOU!

12:20 Well I am back home for now. I have to go get my seabee's car and bring it home after he leaves Gulf port. I had a productive morning, dropped G off at school for Social Studies tutorials, went to the dealership picked up new plates, scheduled the oil change, and all the little cosmetic things that need to be fixed. Then I went to our local police department and asked for deferred adjudication for a ticket I got the day after I got back from Gulf port last time, soo no tickets for six months or I am in trouble :) then I went to the car wash to get all the Mississippi off of the truck (bugs). All this before noon. O.k. I think I'll go back to bed now... not really.

I am crossing my fingers that I have to go back to Gulf port to do the honors of pinning the anchors on my soon to be chief. He is the most awesome person you would ever have the pleasure of knowing, I am not just saying that because I am married to him, alot of people I know and don't know tell me that very thing.
If they dont get pinned in Gulf port then he will be pinned over seas, I will be very sad.
I am hoping that with all of G's activities the days will go by fast. She has a band party Friday night and her 1st volleyball practice Monday night, I know she wishes that her dad could be here to experience all this with her.
Please pray for all the Seabess of NMCB22!

Midnight: I guess its going to be late nights again. I am really disappointed tonight, I found out that I wont be able to do the honor of pinning my husbands anchors on, my heart is crushed, I know I should just be happy that my husband is becoming a chief, and I am but this is the only opportunity that I would have been able to have to play a part in his Navy career or any part of what he does civilian or military. His Military career has more meaning to me that his civilian career, we had a Marine Corp wedding, and I feel that his militray career is an honorable career, not to discredit his civilian job. I love that he is able to go from sitting in a cubicle to fighting for our country and be the most well rounded man you will ever meet.

No TV

It's 3:30 I haven't turned on the T.V. all day, I made some necessary phone calls and that's about it. I got in from Gulf port at 11:00 last night. My body hurts from all the work this weekend and the long drive home. I think the deployment picnic was a success, it looked like everyone was having a good time getting to spend time with their service member before they had to say bye. I on the other hand had to man things, so didn't really get to spend anytime with my guy, but I knew that would be the case before it all began. Thought Sunday would be our day. I was wrong, he had to work on Selectee CPO stuff, it wasn't any different than being home, sitting in front of the computer watching T.V.

I guess I am just being selfish, I probably shouldn't be that way, its just hard when you see all the other guys getting to spend time with the families, and he takes up the slack for the others so they can be with their families, I guess thats what I get for being married to a real nice guy that takes care his troops even if means putting others off becuase of it but selectee stuff or not, the Navy has always done this is us, I should be used to it. Its just that when he's having to do all this stuff and not be home and knowing he is deploying and will be gone for 7 months it kind of makes me mad and sad.
Yeah today I cried, I could'nt help it, it just happened, not because I cant handle the deployment, there are just a few things that I have been thinking about that I guess brought out some emotions.
I need to dry it up before Gigi gets home, which should be in 30 minutes.

Mad dash day

Noon: I was waken up by the dog whining to go outside at 1:00 a.m. I couldn't go back to sleep for about an hour. I then woke up at 3 to her barking, up again another hour to fall back asleep. The alarm goes off at 6:30 time to get G up for school, needless to say I am tired today. The alarm guy showed up right on time 10:00, he is the most courteous technician, very professional. Yeah me for getting this new 12 hundred dollar system for free. If you want to know how let me know I'll pass on the info. I now have onstar for the house, hopefully I wont need to use it, but its good to know I have it if i need it.
I have to go pick up the shirts jamie ordered, then to rockwall (surprise for jamie) then to the dealership for a small part, then pack, then finally to pick up Melissa and the trailer, and I am just tired. I cant wait until its over and I am back home and can get into some since of mormalcie. Dont get me wrong, I absolutly will miss him, but as I said before, the sooner they are gone the sonner they will be back.
Tomorrow Gulfport.

12:30 Got up at 6am got G up at 6:30, she had breakfast, got dressed, I did her hair, oh my goodness she is getting to be such a little lady. Middle school. We get to school, she is nervous which is not like her, she is usually the social butterfly, making the shy kids feel welcomed. The locker was a big deal for her, we had to practice that quite a few times, not sure how long it will take her to get it right, she was a little frustrated and nervous about that.
I talked to all her teachers today letting them know that she will be out of class from Wednesday to Monday, they all had informed me that the office had already e-mailed them and it was not a problem..wow I was pleasantly surprised and thankful. I keep picturing her this morning, she looked so pretty.. and grown up, wish daddy could have been here to see her.

10:00 I attended a Seabee spouses night in at one the Seabee sisters house, there were 16 of us there. It was a great time getting to meet everone and learn about each other, lots of laughs were had.
I think we all needed a night away from the kids even if it was just for a couple of hours.

so I am less than 5 minutes from my house and our local pd pulled me over, I didn't think I was speeding but he told me that I was going 54 in a 40, I guess because I was preoccupied with thought I didn't notice. In the little city (wanna be big city) I live in they dont let anyone go, so yes I got a situation. After he gave me the ticket, I felt the tears coming, I guess I was just thinking I hope this is not a sign of things to come, I have some much on my mind, most of it Family day, I have to be able to clean my mind and pay attention to what I am doing.
Today G has another pool party to go to, this one is for her confirmation class, tomorrow.. the 1st day of school, let the fun begin.

Energy

7:00 Do you ever wish there was a prescription for energy, I dont want supersonic energy, just something to get me motivated and keep me there until all the daily duties are done.
Today my mind is swimming with thoughts of Gulfport, G starting school Monday and even church. I have nervous anxiety about all of them, Gulfport getting to see my Seabee, the family day event, the drive home. G starting school, I guess I am nervous for her even though she doesn't seem to be nervous I think she might be just a little, or maybe it is just me. Then there's church, we haven't been in so long, knowing that our Seabee was going to be leaving, we skipped church and did things together every weekend not sure if I should feel bad about that. Now that I have enrolled G in confirmation I will definitely be getting back to service and Sunday school and the great people in our class, but again it wont be until I get back from Gulfport.

7:30 woohoo I slept in an hour today, I guess it was that late nite thunderstorm that woke me up. It was loud, with a very bright light show. I don't know what time it came through, I was too tired to open my eyes to see. It's nights light that, that make me really wish I could just scoot over and hold my Seabee, fall back to sleep and forget all about the storm.
I was invited to a Seabee spouses day out tommorrow, part of me wants to go and part of me feels like staying as far away as I can. When I commited myself to being the FRG president, I thought "this will help me stay busy" while he is gone, well its kept me more than busy and now I have middle school and preteen activities, well I guess its time to put on my big girl panties (pretty lacey ones) and do what needs to be done, all in the name of love for my Seabee.

2:00 Well I did it, I signed G up for Volleyball, Practices on Friday night's starting the 2nd week in Sept. That gives me time to get ready for being a part of G's world. I am guessing I'll just be a squirrel in her world trying to get a nut.
The season is only 8 weeks long I think it will be good for her, and probably me too.

11:30 I finsihed G's school clothes shopping, the only thing she will need is athletic shoes for p.e. and volleyball, I will wait to find out if she has p.e. this semister before I buy them, if she doesnt then she wont need them until the 2nd week in Sept for volleyball. I only wish our Seabee was here to be a part of a new milestone for our now middle schooler.
Although this may sound insensitive.. it's not that I dont want to see my Seabee.. I do more than anything, but its bitter sweet and I assume he be gone already.
I feel like the sooner he leaves the sooner he gets back, and anything that is going to go wrong will just happen so It can be over too.
I do feel confident that I will be able to take care of whatever comes my way, I just want it to be done. I am not numb to my emotions, but I dont think I can cry anymore, I am not saying that I wont, I probably will, not because I'll be feeling sorry for myself, but because my heart will be missing him. I know he will be proud of me and he will be able to concentrate on his very important job of keeping himself and his fellow troops safe knowing that I am not sitting at home crying because I dont think I can handle things at home without him. I have learned a lot from him, and I will continue to learn from him for the rest of my life. I know that he and the other troops have a bigger responsibility than any of us back home have, although because of our human nature we dont take the time to think of it like that, but its reality.
My heart is so full of pride! He is my HERO.... My ANGEL!

G's activities

10:00 I went to church to sign G up for confirmation, I am excited that she will be a part of this. I think that it will help her to keep her mind off of daddy being away, and she will be learn how the importance of keeping christ in her life as she starts middle school will be.

2:00 I have never been the kind of mom that has liked her girls to play sports, the closest thing to sports my oldest girls did was drill team. When G told us that she wanted to be in band in middle school I wasnt completely on board with it, but I was ok with it, well then she informed us that she wanted to play drums, and just as I thought she is the only girl, 7 boys and her. So I guess I have to get ready for band rehersels and concerts. Well today we got a post card in the mail for recreational girls 3rd through 8th grade volley ball, why did it surprise me when G said pleeease mom. (sports). Well I have been giving it some thought. I called the organization to get more informtion, no one answered, so I left my information so that someone could call me back. I guess I am ok with Volley ball. Now I have to think...am I going to be able to juggle band, confirmation and volley ball.

6:30 up early, not sure why I have been waking up so early when I am going to bed so late. I woke up with huge butterflies in my stomach, I guess its just nervous, excited, anticipation of seeing my Seabee.
I am also nervous about the family day, the planning has consumed me, and has taken 99% of my day everyday, I know not everyone will be pleased with the arrangements that have been made, I am only one person and can only do so much, planning an event for close to 1200 people is no easy taks, but I am learning to do things the Seabee way, which is kind of funny because I am a MY WAY kind girl..wow how military life can change all that.. no excuse me.. Seabee life.
I just hope everyone can focus on what the day is really all about.

Shopping

1:00 Today we will go buy school supplies, G is excited that middle school has a bigger list than elementary.. you know a bigger list for middle school (oh excuse me, junior high)means she is offically a tween.

5:00 Back from supply shopping, got everything on the list, in addition to supplies we also got a new hair do. Cant wait to see the look on daddy's face.
She is excited and loves the new look, daddy's little girl is growing up.

11:00 Up late again, got an e-mail saying that our Seabees may get permission to call their spouses, was hoping to get a call. Oh well its only 7 days until I get to Gulfport, kind of bitter sweet..excited to see him, but not excited to say goodbye.